A Struggling Dream

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.”
-Oprah Winfrey

This month has definitely not been one for the books. About two weeks after I finished school I found out that my job that I have been with for two years was shutting down due to financial issues. My heart was torn, my mind was lost, my body was weak. I had no idea what in the world I was going to do. Why is this happening? What am I going to do? How am I going to come up from this?

We were given 8 weeks to figure everything out. It felt absolutely impossible!! Rewind 6 months. I went to school to become an Esthetician because I wanted a career that I would love for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to be at this job for long so I decided to pursue a passion of mine. After all was said and done my heart was still broken. I met some amazing people during my time here. I have so many memories, and the thought of it coming to an end was bitter sweet. I started to fear the worst. What if I am not ready to make new changes? What if when I go out to pursue my dream, my passion I fail and i’m not as good as I thought. What if I let my husband down. Most importantly what if I let myself down?

Today I was at work, and I was having a conversation with a couple of co-workers, very good good friends of mine. I let them know all these scary thoughts and one said to me “Look Ashley, I am going to tell you something. You do blogging on the side you inspire others to believe in themselves, but you aren’t even believing in yourself right now” It clicked. I cant continue to doubt myself, because failure or no failure my success depends on me no one else.

I decide what my life is going to be and what I make of this entire situation. God puts things in our lives at the right time I went to school, graduated school, and then got the news of my job. He had all of this planned out for each and everyone of us affected by this. He is pushing me to get out of my comfort zone and to follow my dreams and do what I worked so hard to do. I know its most likely not going to be easy but right along with everything else that I have ever done as long as I stick with it I am capable of everything and anything that I want to do!!

When things happen and they don’t go as you planned it doesn’t mean that it was you that did anything wrong at all. It means that God has a bigger plan for you and he wrecked your plans before they wrecked you!

Follow your dreams, Find your passion, Do what you love to do for the rest of your life, and of course never forget that Your Success Depends On You!

I love you guys and as always thank you for reading 🙂
#Love #Dream #Passion

“Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.”

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My Journey To Success

Hey Babes I am back in action! It's been a whole hot minute! So let me catch you up, and for the new people joining us grab a bag of popcorn these things can get a little long!!

For those of you who don't follow me on Social media are probably wondering where I went for six months....

Back in January I decided I needed a new change and I needed to do something that I would love for the rest of my life. So I decided I was going back to school to be an esthetician! Let me just say these last 6 months were a struggle!!! When I say I was exhausted I mean I was exhausted. I went to school Tuesday through Saturday from 8:30am to 4:30 pm and I worked Monday Tuesday Thursday Friday Saturday from 5:00 pm to 2:00 am! I know crazy right!! Starting out I was a little discouraged. I heard it was impossible or unlikely or that I wouldn't be able to pull it off. So well I begin to think the same. I was to far in I couldn't stop so I didn't. The first week was hell!!! I fell asleep in my car during lunch breaks and sometimes while taking a shower. Typical! I begin to have issues sleeping so I was maybe averaging 10 hours a week if that! I started to question myself and wonder what In the world I got myself into. I would wake up and cry sometimes because I knew I wasn't ready for another day of hell. But I knew there was no going back I just pulled out a 7000 dollar loan my husband would kill me. There were days I didn't go to work or I wouldn't show up to school I was tired what did they expect!! Here we are 6 months later 750 hours!! Done. Completed. Graduated! When they handed me my diploma I cried and I really just had to give my self props for being able to pull that off!

Through out these last six months I learned a lot about myself and about people in my life!!! Not everyone is going to be on your side and not everyone is going to be rooting for you to finish, as a matter of fact some people will be waiting to see you fail. Let that define who they are. Don't let them define you! Let me tell you it's okay to root for yourself, to motivate yourself, to believe in yourself! You don't need anyone to tell you that you can do it! Because those people aren't going to do anything for you! Your success isn't depending on those people. Your success depends on you! Believe in yourself and do what it takes to get where you want to be!
When all else fails and things get hard remember to keep going!!

I love you guys thank you for tuning in and here is to our future!!!

Don't forget to subscribe and like my social media for more updates!!! A give-a-way is coming soon!!!!!!!

#peace #love #success

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Bible Verse – Psalm 139: 15-16

Bible Verse

“You were not a mistake, For all your days are written in my book” – Psalm 139: 15-16

This particular scripture has a deep place in my heart! I remember the day I found this scripture was a few years back when I was looking through a ton of quotes. When I came across it made sense and here is why!

For the longest time I thought I was in control of where I ended up and with who I ended up with. This scripture told me other wise! God has this amazing plan for each and every single one of us!

He has all of our days written before we even come into this world! He has bigger plans for us then we do ourselves! So when something doesn’t work out don’t try pick up what HE has already put down.

God will wreck your plans before they wreck you. So trust him Have faith in him Pray to Him Live with him He will never let you down! He knows

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My New Chapter

My New Chapter

Hey guys! First and foremost I want to say thank you to all of you who have followed me on this writing journey I deeply appreciate all of you! Slowly but surely I am going to start adding a ton more pages for all of you anywhere from beauty and health, to spiritual some romance, relationship advice and of course my writing pieces as well!! It’s been tough trying to get things posted up here with my crazy work schedule. But I will be posting more frequently. I am making this a priority!

These next few posts is where things are going to start getting more up beat and positive! I am starting a brand new chapter of my life! If your wondering what I am talking about lets back track some!!

For a while, I had been suffering with major depression and anxiety and there wasn’t a whole lot that I thought I could do about it. There were days where I couldn’t get myself out of bed and there were days I wouldn’t shower and I would just cry myself to sleep. I was putting things into my body that I shouldn’t of! And I just didn’t love myself anymore. I was letting other people dictate my life that I eventually fell into this gigantic hole that I could no longer come out of I was miserable! People were taking away my happiness and for the longest time I thought it was ok!

One morning I woke up and I was getting ready to take a shower. I went and did the daily brushed out my hair looked in the mirror and it clicked!!!! I asked myself “who are you and what are you doing?” I needed a change and I needed a change fast! I ended up going for a drive to a completely different state! As I drove around I got really emotional and I hated myself for a whole moment because I couldn’t believe for the last 21 years of my life I put myself last! All of that slowly came to an end the days after that I was regathering myself and working on who I was and who I wanted to be! I had to do one of the hardest things I had to do in a while, and that was forgive people who were never sorry to me. Forgive people who had scared me for life.

I had to let go of people who were so close to my heart. I had to cut off people who only talked to me when they needed something. But the hardest of all was I had to learn how to love myself all over again! Forgiveness was a hard thing for me because I hold things so close to me and I have all the vivid memories in my head but I had to do it for myself! I was driving myself into an early grave and I couldn’t handle it anymore! But I must say letting go and forgiving those who were never sorry was the best thing I could have ever done! Because now I’m free! And now I can start my new chapter that’s dedicated to me!

If you ever find yourself in a situation similar let me tell you let it go! Be happy! You only get one life. That’s it! This life is valuable! We can’t keep holding on to something that we can’t go back to because we are making ourselves miserable! Remember you are in control and you have the power! Don’t let anyone stand in the way of your happiness! And ask yourself at the end of every day “If my life were to flash before me in a blink of an eye, would it be worth watching”

I love you guys and don’t forget to let go and let God!!!
You guys are amazing!!!

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The End of the Beginning

The End of the Beginning

Deep down inside hid the hate and the pain. Little did I know this would drive me insane. The vivid nightmares of all the things that you had said. I could never forget, it was engraved in my head.

The scars in my heart just couldn’t fade away. I was at a loss for words I didn’t know what to say. All I wanted was to live full and free. All I wanted was for you to let me be. But here I am now standing tall and proud. People are cheering for me take a look at the crowd. Everything you did made me so strong. Thank you, for doing me so wrong.

I appreciate you for all that you have done. This is a war that I have won. So here is to your words that made me feel so low. Here’s to my future I’m letting you go. When you realize that I’m no longer there, remember the days that you didn’t care. This new chapter is dedicated to me. I forgive you, now I can be free.

I pray that you have love joy and laughter. But now it’s time for me and my happy ever after. Goodbye to the girl that you used to know. She’s gone now, she let you go. Watch her as she goes on her way. Don’t you worry at all she will be okay..

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My Forever

My Forever

Standing across the room I see him there. Wondering how he did it, Wondering how he cared. How did I get so lucky for him to chose me. When he stared into my eyes what did he see. He took me to place I had never seen before. He gave me an opportunity and opened another door. God gave him to me at just the right time. He’s gentle he’s loving he is kind. He makes me smile when my days go wrong. He is my melody my perfect song. He is the best part of my day. He lets me know it’s going to okay!
When I hit the bottom and I am feeling pretty low he grabs me close and never lets me go. I now have this wonderful place to be. Because he looked in my eyes and saw things I didn’t see. He promised me we would do life together.
That is why he is my forever

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Forget Not!

Forget Not!

How do i forget all that you put me through. How do i forget, what do you want me to do. How do i forget everything you once said. How do i forget, i want it out of my head.

How do i forget that i was never number one How do i forget everything you had done. Tell me why you deserve my love now. Tell me why you would hurt me, tell me how. You took my love for granted now its time that go. I hope one day you’ll love me if not forget me so.

I made something of myself and you will not have a part. I just need to forget and this is where i will start. Go ahead and go be on your way. Because here in my life you are not welcome to stay. I will continue to conquer and i will succeed

I am throwing you out, you were a horrible weed. The pain that you put me through was more then a lot. Just so you know i will forget you not……

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My head going in circles, i can’t stop this now. Wondering whats going on, trying to figure out how. Stuck inside a fairy tale full of pitty and lies. My head is all over the place all i hear is cries. Stuck deep down inside are the feelings that i hide. Killing me that i cant admit i have to much pride. The only way out is when i learn to let go. When will the time be right, how will i ever know.

I wanna be something one day and in order for that to be. I have to open my eyes and truly accept me for me. There has been to much ugly that has happened in my past. It eventually caught up to me so i put myself last. Who is going to accept me the way i am today. Who is going to tell me that its going to be okay. I have to get right with myself before i can actually be. I am the only one who can accept me for me.

Get up you beautiful soul and let it all go. Right now is the time you already know. You see the light now go and be free.

Don’t stay trapped in the dark go open your eyes and see…

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She smiled and tried to look straight ahead. Her mind was racing she only had him in her head. She ran out, her eyes full of tears. Why was this happening this was one of her worst fears. She knew she would have to face it one day. She was hurt inside there wasn’t much she could say.

Her heart was empty and she was done Her world was so dark she needed the sun. Little did she know she was the most beautiful of them all.

She just needed to get herself up after that harsh fall. She looked in the mirror and was no longer shattered. Because the girl who hurt realized she finally mattered.

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The Way Out

The Way Out

Deep inside i know its an addiction. My life is messed i feel like i’m living in a restriction. Im looking for the end of the tunnel, i need light. I cant be doing this i know its not right.

The only person standing in my way is me. Why is it hard for me look past everything and see, God wrecked my plans before they wrecked me. Step back set down the pipe. You out of everyone know your not that type.

You have a world ahead of you. But you have to know you are important to. See your worth and own it.

Don’t let life get the last hit.

Quit living with your mind full of doubt. Do something about it and find your way out.

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